Seminary

Well, it's finally done. I have submitted everything and now I have to wait to hear what lies ahead of me in Texas. I was told not to worry...I'm the kind of man they want to have at Southwestern (this information coming from a Southwestern Alumni). We'll see what the Lord has in store for me. Fun times!

the not so SONSet, sonset!

Tonight was one of our Junior High SONset. It's a time of gathering, food, hanging out, games, knowing God on a deeper...you know the "typical" church event stuff. Tonight, we had the worst turn out of any Junior High event we ever had. What happened? Not enough promotion? Something else better came up? Couldn't find the host home? Why do some events flourish while others fall dead to the ground? If you know...write a freaking book on it! This is ridiculous. Why do I try?

We live in a fishbowl

In ministry one must constantly remember that they live in a fishbowl. People are watching them and proving judgment upon one’s character. This is where I often fail. I tend to be oblivious to the demands of character analysis’ that parents, co-workers, friends, students, and why should I? Am I not an individual that can think for myself? Am I not intelligent enough to develop my own sense of belonging in the world? The answer does not lie within the process of my individual need, but in the process of who I affect due to my live as a follower of Jesus Christ. It is true that I am not contained by the mere social choices that people will often tender as profitable action that I must take, but I am contained to the conscience of my own being and the will of God for me life. What then is to be looked upon with disgust or disappointment due to the nation of another individual’s point or view or more carelessly their perception of me as a person? What do I care what people think of me as a person, as long as my ministry is growing and I am (God forbid by some people) doing the will of God? Titus 1:6 tells us “if anyone is above reproach…and not open to the charge of debauchery or insubordination.” I find this verse fitting because it shows me that we as pastors are to be living examples and ultimately sacrifice for the needs of others. Why make a brother stumble, because we want to be our own person. What if they are offended something we say, wear, do, or example? Do we continue to pursue that level of personal infliction or do heed the call and try to compromise? My life is a fishbowl…

My Small Group

For the next few months my small group and I will begin to look at God's global agenda as seen in the Old Testament and as well as the New Testament. I have to say that the group of guys that God has blessed with in my group are sharp. I'm not even joking...these guys are "little theologians." Today, the question of predestination came up. I was shocked! Not only did Patrick say a word that is so foreign to junior highers, but even pronounced it correctly. Needless to say, it was a heavy discussion. I'm blown away...totally awesome!

A new Kind of Book

Just finished "A New Kind of Youth Ministry" by Chris Folmsbee (yes, I read extra books other than my textbooks). I recommend it to everyone. It contains some fresh thoughts, good ideas and it's really not a model.

Wisdom

I am one of those types of people who hold people to their words and or actions. I believe that people are responsible to follow through, regardless of the pending circumstances. Call it a moral obligation if you will. Today, my attitude and frustration blossomed in full force. Without going into specifics, I felt wronged. At that moment I felt useless, disrespected, not "one of the favorites". A normal response to issues that happen in one's life. But, within the midst of feeling devalued, wisdom enters and removes the blinders that make me who I am.

I am grateful for the people that God has blessed me with. Tonight, my friend explained to me that my issue was not a hill to die on. After pointing our certain flaws (that were based upon valid evidence), I am grateful for the wisdom that God gives certain people. I understand the need to surround one's self with people of different thoughts and paths, for they will help you understand, and often times God uses these people to help one understand their own faults.

I am a man with many flaws. Yet, is it wrong to feel wronged or devalued? Is it a sin to feel useless or ill-regarded? It is wrong to feel that if you're going to do one person, you should do for all? What makes some people better than others? How could one do someone and not the other? It is my prayer that I will learn see the brighter side of things...yet I hate that Pollyanna crap...

My Worship Problem

Why is it always the same? Why do I feel like I have to go against the grain? When everyone is worshiping, I just stand and think. I don't open my mouth to sing or engage. It's not the music or the environment. I love worship. But, what I don't like is a fake automatic response. I feel that if I raised my hands and screamed the lyrics from my lungs it wouldn't be my true form. I feel that in the quietness of my mind I'm worshiping God for who He is. If it wrong for me not give in to the emotional response to worship...do I need therapy? Anyone have Dr. Dobson's number?

First week at school

Today finishes my first week of my last semester. Here is a snibit of my classes:

American Government: Not too much work, the professor is rather animated which proves to be useful when the class is at 9am.

Philosophy: Probably one of my favorite classes this semester. The professor surfs a couple times a week, the topics are engaging and I love to rock the boat during discussions. I anticipate a fun class.

Pastoral Ministry: A good class...so far. We get to learn "how to baptize" people. I must attend a: funeral, a wedding, a Lord's supper, and a baptism.

Marriage & Family: Not much to say, the professor was absent. However, this is a hard class to get into. I heard it was the best class at CBU.

Global Perspectives: A class facilitated by Jeff Lewis. It's going to be awesome...and will probably rock my socks off!

Missions Practicum: Not really a class, but I will be traveling and learning in regards to this class.

Overall, a fun semester. I will be extremely busy. Keep me in your prayers...Peace!

I need one of these

I saw this on MiddleNet today. This is so funny! Unfortunately they are out of stock. Bummer.

My Small group

Today I met with my small group as we always do on Tuesday's. I have been mentoring these guys since they were 7th graders and now they are in the last semester of junior high. It has been incredible to see God work in their lives, and to watch them grow in their faith. With that said, today's meeting (although accompined with pizza) was a litle different. We talked about what we want to get out the next semester. Although their answers where typical for my group: a head nod, a white rabbit, and a comment about being more active in the community, I have boiled down what I think are the three cruical elements these guy's need to learn this semester.

1. I want them to be more bibically literate. This is so important. Although everything we do has foundation of God's word, I think we may have sacrificed some good exergesis for being relevent and relational. Nevertheless, being relevent and relational can exist with scripture exergesis.

2. I want them to live out their faith daily. So many times we get caught up in "doing chruch" that we forget to be church, or more importantly, being Christ to others. It is my prayer that my guy's start to understand this and develop a desire to live out their faith in their speical way.

3. I want them to understand what a "disciple" is. In essence, they already know what a disciple is. I what them to know how to repeat the process with others.

This semester holds many challenges...I can't wait!

My last semester

Wednesday will mark the first day of my last semester. Words can not describe how happy I am that this is now coming to a completion, but as with anything...this too shall pass. As well as being my last semester, this will also be one of my challenging semesters. It will be challenging in the sense of academics (although some classes will be tough), it will be challenging by the time schedule I have to live by now. It seems that my procrastination skills will be destroyed this semester...Lord's willing! Here is class schedule:

• Marriage & Family and the Christian Community


• Intro to Philosophy


• American Government


• Global Perspectives


• Pastoral Ministry


• International Field Practicum

It will be a crazy semester!

Reflection

Today I was asked what my 2007 goals were for our junior high ministry, I found myself honestly giving an un-articulated answer. So, I spent the rest of the day reflecting upon this. Here are few things that I have found to be true of myself:

1- I am too critical of people and often times of students as well. Today, I realized that perhaps I standards that are too high for some. And from this, need to be more intentional in how I interacted with students and foster a life of faith. I often systematically clump students into groups, instead of really understanding who they are as individuals.

2- I am still wet behind the ears when it comes to ministry. Being 26 and having a somewhat mature streak to my work ethic, I am still learning and am in no position to boast of what I have done or haven't done. God has blessed me with a tremendous opportunity at the church I'm currently at, and from this I am still learning "the ropes" and still need time to make mistakes (which seem to be often) and learn from them. Although MAG has given me a different dynamic in regards to youth ministry, it still hasn't completely prepared me for ministry. Only time and grace will be able foster a seasoned youth worker. Nevertheless, MAG has tried to prepare me the best way they can.

3- Sometimes what is missing is not the core of ministry, but within the core of myself. I have taken advantage of time, energy and resources to further pursue me own selfishness. When I could have been reading more scripture, I was playing more HALO. When I could have been comforting a hurting student, I was at the movies. When I should have been living out my faith in my own community, I was cutting corners by "trying" to produce a "thriving" junior high ministry.

Now, those who are reading are wondering what does this have to do with The Refinery? Before, I can have a vision for this ministry, I must first let God and His vision (for me) work in my life. So many times I have put up this wall of "everything's great" when deep inside...I'm rotting!

2006 Highlights and Lowlights

The 2006 year is now gone forever. Here are few things that have left some sort of impact upon my life:

Hightlights

• Experiencing God through school, ministry, and personal reflections.
• My sister's wedding.
• Finishing my junior year and half my senior year with a 3.5 GPA.
• Seeing my guys in my small group grow in their faith.
• Having some awesome air-soft wars.
• Experiencing a relationship.
• Flying to Texas for the first time.
• Watching a ministry grow.
• Flying to Atlanta.
• Experiencing summer camp at Catalina.

Lowlights

• Procrastination got the best of me.
• Having to make hard decisions.
• Ministry issues that cause me to compromise.

I am confident that 2007 will foster new opportunities and fond memories.

Tonight

Tonight, I thought that things would crash and burn just because our worship band couldn't make it. So, I thought and prayed...and we had our first worship experience. One word can describe what happened...WOW! God moved in the heart of our students. We had three stations set: 1- an adoration board where students could write "who God is", then there was station 2- a place where students could write a prayer, a song, stuff that they are struggling with, etc. and the last station was a outside where students could write down their most deepest sins on a index card and light it on fire and toss it into a pot, releashing and giving themselves up to God. Absolutely amazing!