Lucas on Leadership

For the last few months, I have been examining and re-examining what our midweek and weekend programs look like. I have come the conclusion that I need to do a better job at leading people. I believe that any decent leader would say that about himself/herself, but I am quite serious when I say this about myself. I have found that the leaders that I shepherd need to catch on the vision of why we do middle school ministry. The answer to the that question would certainly be the catalyst that has been missing. Here's a couple quick thoughts from the inside of my head:

1. Leaders need to understand sacrifice. It is one thing to teach a bible study, but to purposely invest time and energy into the lives of students requires some sort of sacrifice. That is not to say that volunteers need to give there entire lives to middle school ministry- that's not what I'm saying. What I do mean is that, we need to have a purpose of why we want to "do life" with middle schooler students. It boils down to this: students see that sacrifices we make and the one's we don't.
2. Leaders need to understand complacency. Because it worked before does not mean it will be a hit the second time around. In today's ADD world, students can take and leave purposeful elements just as the wind blows. I have come to understand that complacency is a disastrous safety blanket that plagues many youth workers. We become "too" comfortable in midweek/weekend programs, and that's when things become stagnate. Students hate stagnated elements. This partially is not their fault (they do live in world where everything and everyone wants things done in a nanosecond), yet programming should not be built upon an ADD mentality. I am reminded that when things get to comfortable, that's a sure sign to shake some things up.
   
3. Leaders need to understand care. Care comes in many forms (remembering a name, making that phone call, remember the student period!) It's amazing how we can think and care for students based upon a schedule "Sunday...it's my day to talk with students..." Care is a sacrifice and should be based upon complacency. Students need adults that pray for them throughout the week, show up at their ballgames, take for some Starbucks, pray for their parents, remember what makes them laugh, remember what makes them cry. A leader knows (cares) for their students. Note that care and knowing a student are two different things. I can know a student, but care signifies shepherding and love. It screams "you are worth my time."
4. Leaders need to understand rest. One reason leaders/youth workers get burnt out is because of the lack of rest. They spend too much time giving and fail to re-charge themselves with the presence of God. We do all of this "youth ministry" stuff, and almost fail to have that special time with Him. we can not lead students down a path we have never been before. How can we tell students to read there bibles when we are ourselves don't? How can we tell our students to have a healthy prayer life, when the only time we talk to God is when we remember to? Finding rest in the Lord is crucial to leading students. Note that students can see a fake and when they do, the chances of them opening up and really allowing you to care for them becomes somewhat impossible.
   

Youth Ministry Turf Wars

My question is this: would you engaged/develop a program to reach students (let's say skaters) if you know that another church in town also has similar ministry? For example, I have been throwing around an idea of outreaching to students at local skate parks. I have leaders willing to take this and run with it. But, I know that another youth ministry in town already does the same thing, and (from what I hear) does a good job. Should I trash the idea, for fear of stepping on someone's toes?

Your thoughts?

Question of the Week

The very problem of teenage obesity is effecting the very nature of how students respond to programs; have you ever had a student no attend an event because there was too much walking or running, and that HALO 3 sounds better? The question of the week is based upon two trends 1) obesity and 2) guys wearing girl pants.

Here's the question: how can the students (guys) of today in all their glory and obesity, wear girl jeans? If today's teens are too fat to do anything, how do they get away with girl pants? I hope this trend ends soon!

for those who practice the quaker method of humor: THIS IS A JOKE QUESTION!!!! Get over it!

Top Five Things Students Struggle with...

This is a question for all you youth workers out there: What are the top five "things" students struggle with on an everyday basis? Your answers could include thoughts from the middle schools, high school, or college world.

MySpace

It seems that Myspace is in the air these days, as too the fact that I have had at least five parents ask me about it. Today was no different, but has put in me a interesting position.

One of my bible study leaders ask me about the legal age requirement for having a Myspace account, which happens to be 14. This bible study leader has a 13 year old son in 8th grade. As a result he's account has (will be) deleted. Tonight at a youth gathering he was upset with the information I tendered to his parents about Myspace, and was almost sobbing (tears were in his eyes) about this. He states that Myspace is the only vehicle of communication with his friends throughout the week. He asked me why I did what I did, and my only response was that I had to be honest and that he needed to respect his parents wisdom in the matter. He understood...but I still feel that he is harboring some resentment.

How would you have handled this situation?

I already tried to advertise Facebook with no luck, and MyPraise is a joke when compared to MySpace.

Lessons from Captain Jack Aubrey

As I sat and did absolutely nothing yesterday (I am still without transportation), I decided to watch Maser and Commander that nautical movie starring Russell Crowe. I must confess that this is one of my all time favorite movies. Not so much as I love nautical movies, but mainly from the elements of leadership one can gleam from it. Here's a couple things I gained from watching and analyzing this movie:

1) People often need a leader and not a friend.

This statement can easily offend someone, and I agree with it but not in its entirety. The people who we lead need a leader sometimes more so than they need for us to be that friend. This is to say that the need to be relational is also extremely relevant. This can sometimes cause one to easily dissociate leading and friendship as two separate elements. For example, is it possible to let a person who is a friend get away with something that you wouldn't allow others to do? Would you pass off the disciplinary action to circumvent the friendship? Please do not mistake me here, people need a leader who care about them personally, but will communicate itself by leading.

2) Respect must be given.

How many times have we disrespected a person due to his or her position? I have done this many times. In Master and Commander there is a character that is not respected by the men he is given to govern. Why is that (see #1 for the answer)? This man was more concerned about being a friend and earning respect, when it should have been given regardless. That's where the men of the ship failed in their duty. "Failed him fellowship" is what was said. These men disregarded the position that was given to Hollom the midshipman. You see, it doesn't matter who we think should be in leadership, or whether we think we can do a better job. What matters is that God has placed certain people in the position of leader for various reasons. We can go our entire lives and really never understand why. Nevertheless, when the day is over, we must show respect to those who govern us.

3) A leader is required to make tough choices.

I have mentioned this concept before in previous blog entries. A leader is required to make decisions that proper for the mission at hand. This concept is well represented in the film where Captain Aubrey is forced to cut the lines that a fellow shipmate is holding on to, thus releasing this shipman to the sea. Not only is this a tough choice, but he had the brother of the man-over-board help cut the lines. In ministry we sometimes must make choices like this. One of my favorite things to say to people is "student ministry is never easy, and if it is; you're not doing something right."

4) Arguing for arguing sake.

Do you know someone what always has to have a better answer? Or disagrees with you just to disagree? In leadership and even in the film, the chain of command always regards the direction and orders of the captain as final. They discuss and strategize, but when the captain gives the order, they preform with excellence and without delay. I find it appropriate to often discuss about the direction of ministry and sometimes the motives. But, I would never argue another point just to secure a position that doesn't exist.

I find it fascinating that God places certain people in certain leadership positions. Ministry reminds me much of a ship. Everyone has there part to play, and in order to have a well ordered ship, everyone must know their place. There will come a time when promotions will happen just like in the film (hooray for Mr. Pullings!) and a time of conflict. However, we must never forget the ultimate captain we serve.

Thoughts on Middle School Ministry

This week we kick off the new school year. With free pizza and good promotion this Wednesday should be fun. Although, I can't help but think of a few things that keep me awake at night.

1) Students and their connections with us
One of the most difficult realizations in ministry is that we don't connect with every student in our ministry. I dealt with this fact many years ago. Now I see others dealing with it. What is funny to me is the "if they don't don't connect with me, they don't connect with anyone" mentality. Just because a student doesn't connect with us in the way we think they should doesn't mean that they are a lost cause or can't connect with others; that is a selfish perspective. I know a student in particular, who seems not to connect with his bible study leader. The leader knows this student from another church program. Does this create a default to which a student has to connect to the leader, and would it a terrible thing if they connected with another leader, even though the bible study leader has known them more than the connected leader?

Another issue is that fact that students don't often connect with us in the way we think they should. Middle school students are shrouded in ambiguity. They are never the same, yet we often want them to be predictable. If this is your die-hard belief...run from student ministry! Students are constantly changing, and we should jump for joy that we have leaders that connect with students.

2) Middle School Student Leadership
Some people would see this as a lost cause, but see this a developing tool. Middle school students are very much capable of leadership. Just because they are sometimes selfish, flaky, and squirrelly, does not mean that they are not worth the effort. I have seen some of the most self-sacrificing attributes from middle school students. They are an untapped resource.

3) Leadership motives
What motivates leaders? That question is what has kept me without sleep for months. What do leaders want? How do we address impure motives (ie. selfishness)? To be effective we need to have everyone on the same team. Seems simple enough. But what about that one who wants more, or forgets about the learning process. For me, leadership motivates me to be effective, consistent, and intentional. In order to seek such things I must LEARN!!! I can never stop learning. I can be a youth pastor for 16+ years and still understand nothing. This motivates me to learn and understand more. Nevertheless, learning has no end, and anyone who says different is selling something to you.

I have found through my learning that selfish motives will destroy a ministry or keep it from growing. We must guard ourselves from such deceit.

(Please Note: this blog is in no way a representation of a person(s). Although, the content and circumstance might stem from conversations with a person, it is not about them, only the ideas and concepts strained from those conversations.)

Great Quote!

As I sat in urgent care this afternoon, I read this quick quote from Chris Folmsbee's A New Kind of Youth Ministry "...leadership doesn't come with a position, leadership comes with the ability to influence others." Take some time to chew on that!

Students

I have found that students are very selfish beings. It seems to get worst as they grow up. Today was the last day to sign-up for our JH Summer Camp. Out of 35 only five have signed up. This is a first for our ministry. It seems that the "fun" factor in events is no longer the hook, while neither is the spiritual element. Here are few excuses I received today:

• "Oh we're not going to Catalina??? I don't want to go."
• "I have sports events that week."
• "It's too expensive."
• "I don't know why I don't want to go."

Such interesting times in which we live in. When I was younger or even last year students couldn't wait to sign-up. Humm....your thoughts?

More thoughts on Leadership

So, today I witnessed something that proved to be something that I need to address. Without going into specifics, I realized something about leadership. Here are few thoughts:

• Leadership is having the "guts" to have "that conversation" with "that someone" even though someone will awake away with their "ego" bruised.


• Leadership is having the "guts" to understand both sides of the coin and still making that decision that will make some people "unhappy."


• Leadership is understanding that regardless of age, schooling and personality, one must yield to those who God has placed in a higher position.


• Leadership is "understanding" your position and excelling at that. Not overstepping your bounds because you "think" you have all the answers.


• Leadership is purging those selfish desires, and making good choices that help students and ultimately glorify God.


• Leadership is knowing and understanding those who are in a position of higher authority and "respecting" that.

Tell me what you think....

My Last Few Words...

This week is the beginning of my last three weeks of school. I am reminded of how much I have grown as a leader and as person. It is weird to see how God works. I look back now and think about the issues that once plagued me. Please note that I stated "once." Now I view those as the learning blocks of life.

It's interesting to read my old youth ministry journals. So much has changed in these last four years. I have learned so much and still continue to learn much. I must confess that am embarrassed of the things I used to hold as the "only way" to do youth ministry. If there is one thing I learned, youth ministry is constantly changing, and once you become complacent, things begin to become rough. Fluid mobility is something anyone working with students needs to have in the arsenal.

I can't to see what else God has for me in the next four years.

B.Y.O.F Weekend Adventure

So after careful prayer and a strategic message, BYOF is still a go! The fun starts tomorrow at 5:30pm and ends on Sunday morning. We have about 20 students going, most are bringing friends. Please note that I mentioned the word "most." Here's my issue; In order to sign-up to go, a student needed to bring an "un-churched" friend. This later afternoon I received a call from a parent stating that her son's friends just bailed on him, can he still go? I thought rather quickly and stated "yes." It only seemed fair. He made the contact, he was intentional, and these things happen. So, our ratio is not completely 50/50, but its pretty darn close. I am so proud of my students!!!

Reflections on Numbers

I often wonder why attendance numbers are a like a roller-coaster ride. There are many factors that can influence this issue. One issue that plagues our ministry is that many of our students come from single parents. We have a rather high amount of students who come broken homes. From this, I am able to deduce that most of our missing students on Wednesday and Sunday are with the "other" parent for weekend. It's not a bad thing, but it is something we have to keep in mind before we throw in the towel, and need to figure out a way to keep them encouraged and loved on, not to mention plugged. What about their "other" parent? Anyone have a thought on this? Hit to Lovato...

Has this ever happen to you?

It's been awhile since I last posted something, and I'm too busy to get into that at the moment. Here's the question for all those who read this blasted blog: Have you ever had to cancel an event because no students signed up for it? This is my dilemma at the moment. My students are either out of town or don't have the money to go on BYOF weekend. I fear that I might have to cancel it. Your thoughts?

Favs & Hates

Here are few of my favorite things:

• The Beach
• WiFi
• Coffee
• Ritalin
• Cartography
• Student Ministries
• Dental Insurance
• Friends and Family
• Parents who make me smile and support their students in ministry

Here are few of things I hate:

• Traffic
• Senioritis
• People who are unwilling to sacrifice for the greater good
• Parents who are devious
• People who are flaky
• Liars
• Expensive gas

This is just an little rant...please forgive me!

Winter Camp 2007

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  This year our JH ministry joined Saddleback, Mariners, and Journey for a winter camp up in Thousand Pines...we had a great time. Here are some highlights and lowlights:

  
  

  Highlights

  
  

  • The volunteer staff I brought with me were absolutely amazing. I could delegate and know that the job would get done with precision, tact, and love. These guys really love our students. This was evident this weekend when exhaustion set in, and yet they still were able to discipline with love.
  
  
  
  • Thousand Pines was awesome. Paintball, ropes course, art shoppe, basketball, foose ball, snow, off-road rides, snowball fights, the food, the camp set-up, the cabins...all were awesome!
  
  
  
  • They had a underground coffee house. It was very cool. On a funny note: students brought coffee thinking they were getting caffine...nope...they got de-caf!
  
  
  
  • Seeing students getting into worship!
  
  
  
  • Seeing students offload their paintball hoppers are at a group of leaders (I mean it was 30 to 7!!!) Long Live Bergadine!!!

  
  

  Lowlights

  • Students who think they are too good to do anything (help clean the cabin, sitting at the dinner table, etc.)
  
  
  • Students and cell phones (student cell phone suck!)
  
  
  • Rude people...or should I say exclusive cliques
  
  
  • Students who lie then pull the "do you know who my dad is...?" card. I don't care who your dad is.
  
  
  • Rich kids and their little rich attitudes...I never knew that they sold that crap at Neiman Marcus.

  
  

  It was a good trip. Now I have some uber-following up to do...peace out!

  
  

Frustration...

• If there was ever a day where I wanted to quit...tonight would have been that day. My student's were off the hook tonight. Did someone give them a sugar sandwich before they came to church? Now, I understand that Junior Highers are squirrelly...it's who they are, and I am extremely patience with them. But, tonight, they were so rude, not to me, but the other leaders. I literally stood on stage with another leader for 5 mins. till they decided someone was needing their attention...no respect! Man...I need some sleep.

Bowling for stolen bikes...

Yesterday we had our "Bowling-4-Friends" event. Here are the highlights and lowlights:

Highlights

• Bowling is tons of fun
• Students actually brought friends this time
• We had an 80's theme
• Good times hanging out with students

Lowlights

• Half of the students who signed up, showed up
• A student got his bike jaked in front of his face
• Driving around the neighborhood looking for the thieves
• No leaders showed up (except me and the JH intern)

As I mentioned before...what makes an event a more appealing than others?

the not so SONSet, sonset!

Tonight was one of our Junior High SONset. It's a time of gathering, food, hanging out, games, knowing God on a deeper...you know the "typical" church event stuff. Tonight, we had the worst turn out of any Junior High event we ever had. What happened? Not enough promotion? Something else better came up? Couldn't find the host home? Why do some events flourish while others fall dead to the ground? If you know...write a freaking book on it! This is ridiculous. Why do I try?

We live in a fishbowl

In ministry one must constantly remember that they live in a fishbowl. People are watching them and proving judgment upon one’s character. This is where I often fail. I tend to be oblivious to the demands of character analysis’ that parents, co-workers, friends, students, and why should I? Am I not an individual that can think for myself? Am I not intelligent enough to develop my own sense of belonging in the world? The answer does not lie within the process of my individual need, but in the process of who I affect due to my live as a follower of Jesus Christ. It is true that I am not contained by the mere social choices that people will often tender as profitable action that I must take, but I am contained to the conscience of my own being and the will of God for me life. What then is to be looked upon with disgust or disappointment due to the nation of another individual’s point or view or more carelessly their perception of me as a person? What do I care what people think of me as a person, as long as my ministry is growing and I am (God forbid by some people) doing the will of God? Titus 1:6 tells us “if anyone is above reproach…and not open to the charge of debauchery or insubordination.” I find this verse fitting because it shows me that we as pastors are to be living examples and ultimately sacrifice for the needs of others. Why make a brother stumble, because we want to be our own person. What if they are offended something we say, wear, do, or example? Do we continue to pursue that level of personal infliction or do heed the call and try to compromise? My life is a fishbowl…