Wisdom

I am one of those types of people who hold people to their words and or actions. I believe that people are responsible to follow through, regardless of the pending circumstances. Call it a moral obligation if you will. Today, my attitude and frustration blossomed in full force. Without going into specifics, I felt wronged. At that moment I felt useless, disrespected, not "one of the favorites". A normal response to issues that happen in one's life. But, within the midst of feeling devalued, wisdom enters and removes the blinders that make me who I am.

I am grateful for the people that God has blessed me with. Tonight, my friend explained to me that my issue was not a hill to die on. After pointing our certain flaws (that were based upon valid evidence), I am grateful for the wisdom that God gives certain people. I understand the need to surround one's self with people of different thoughts and paths, for they will help you understand, and often times God uses these people to help one understand their own faults.

I am a man with many flaws. Yet, is it wrong to feel wronged or devalued? Is it a sin to feel useless or ill-regarded? It is wrong to feel that if you're going to do one person, you should do for all? What makes some people better than others? How could one do someone and not the other? It is my prayer that I will learn see the brighter side of things...yet I hate that Pollyanna crap...

My Worship Problem

Why is it always the same? Why do I feel like I have to go against the grain? When everyone is worshiping, I just stand and think. I don't open my mouth to sing or engage. It's not the music or the environment. I love worship. But, what I don't like is a fake automatic response. I feel that if I raised my hands and screamed the lyrics from my lungs it wouldn't be my true form. I feel that in the quietness of my mind I'm worshiping God for who He is. If it wrong for me not give in to the emotional response to worship...do I need therapy? Anyone have Dr. Dobson's number?

First week at school

Today finishes my first week of my last semester. Here is a snibit of my classes:

American Government: Not too much work, the professor is rather animated which proves to be useful when the class is at 9am.

Philosophy: Probably one of my favorite classes this semester. The professor surfs a couple times a week, the topics are engaging and I love to rock the boat during discussions. I anticipate a fun class.

Pastoral Ministry: A good class...so far. We get to learn "how to baptize" people. I must attend a: funeral, a wedding, a Lord's supper, and a baptism.

Marriage & Family: Not much to say, the professor was absent. However, this is a hard class to get into. I heard it was the best class at CBU.

Global Perspectives: A class facilitated by Jeff Lewis. It's going to be awesome...and will probably rock my socks off!

Missions Practicum: Not really a class, but I will be traveling and learning in regards to this class.

Overall, a fun semester. I will be extremely busy. Keep me in your prayers...Peace!

I need one of these

I saw this on MiddleNet today. This is so funny! Unfortunately they are out of stock. Bummer.

My Small group

Today I met with my small group as we always do on Tuesday's. I have been mentoring these guys since they were 7th graders and now they are in the last semester of junior high. It has been incredible to see God work in their lives, and to watch them grow in their faith. With that said, today's meeting (although accompined with pizza) was a litle different. We talked about what we want to get out the next semester. Although their answers where typical for my group: a head nod, a white rabbit, and a comment about being more active in the community, I have boiled down what I think are the three cruical elements these guy's need to learn this semester.

1. I want them to be more bibically literate. This is so important. Although everything we do has foundation of God's word, I think we may have sacrificed some good exergesis for being relevent and relational. Nevertheless, being relevent and relational can exist with scripture exergesis.

2. I want them to live out their faith daily. So many times we get caught up in "doing chruch" that we forget to be church, or more importantly, being Christ to others. It is my prayer that my guy's start to understand this and develop a desire to live out their faith in their speical way.

3. I want them to understand what a "disciple" is. In essence, they already know what a disciple is. I what them to know how to repeat the process with others.

This semester holds many challenges...I can't wait!

My last semester

Wednesday will mark the first day of my last semester. Words can not describe how happy I am that this is now coming to a completion, but as with anything...this too shall pass. As well as being my last semester, this will also be one of my challenging semesters. It will be challenging in the sense of academics (although some classes will be tough), it will be challenging by the time schedule I have to live by now. It seems that my procrastination skills will be destroyed this semester...Lord's willing! Here is class schedule:

• Marriage & Family and the Christian Community


• Intro to Philosophy


• American Government


• Global Perspectives


• Pastoral Ministry


• International Field Practicum

It will be a crazy semester!

Reflection

Today I was asked what my 2007 goals were for our junior high ministry, I found myself honestly giving an un-articulated answer. So, I spent the rest of the day reflecting upon this. Here are few things that I have found to be true of myself:

1- I am too critical of people and often times of students as well. Today, I realized that perhaps I standards that are too high for some. And from this, need to be more intentional in how I interacted with students and foster a life of faith. I often systematically clump students into groups, instead of really understanding who they are as individuals.

2- I am still wet behind the ears when it comes to ministry. Being 26 and having a somewhat mature streak to my work ethic, I am still learning and am in no position to boast of what I have done or haven't done. God has blessed me with a tremendous opportunity at the church I'm currently at, and from this I am still learning "the ropes" and still need time to make mistakes (which seem to be often) and learn from them. Although MAG has given me a different dynamic in regards to youth ministry, it still hasn't completely prepared me for ministry. Only time and grace will be able foster a seasoned youth worker. Nevertheless, MAG has tried to prepare me the best way they can.

3- Sometimes what is missing is not the core of ministry, but within the core of myself. I have taken advantage of time, energy and resources to further pursue me own selfishness. When I could have been reading more scripture, I was playing more HALO. When I could have been comforting a hurting student, I was at the movies. When I should have been living out my faith in my own community, I was cutting corners by "trying" to produce a "thriving" junior high ministry.

Now, those who are reading are wondering what does this have to do with The Refinery? Before, I can have a vision for this ministry, I must first let God and His vision (for me) work in my life. So many times I have put up this wall of "everything's great" when deep inside...I'm rotting!

2006 Highlights and Lowlights

The 2006 year is now gone forever. Here are few things that have left some sort of impact upon my life:

Hightlights

• Experiencing God through school, ministry, and personal reflections.
• My sister's wedding.
• Finishing my junior year and half my senior year with a 3.5 GPA.
• Seeing my guys in my small group grow in their faith.
• Having some awesome air-soft wars.
• Experiencing a relationship.
• Flying to Texas for the first time.
• Watching a ministry grow.
• Flying to Atlanta.
• Experiencing summer camp at Catalina.

Lowlights

• Procrastination got the best of me.
• Having to make hard decisions.
• Ministry issues that cause me to compromise.

I am confident that 2007 will foster new opportunities and fond memories.

Tonight

Tonight, I thought that things would crash and burn just because our worship band couldn't make it. So, I thought and prayed...and we had our first worship experience. One word can describe what happened...WOW! God moved in the heart of our students. We had three stations set: 1- an adoration board where students could write "who God is", then there was station 2- a place where students could write a prayer, a song, stuff that they are struggling with, etc. and the last station was a outside where students could write down their most deepest sins on a index card and light it on fire and toss it into a pot, releashing and giving themselves up to God. Absolutely amazing!

Tomorrow

Tomorrow is our first lock-in. I pray that it is a success. Here are a few things we are wanting to do and or happen:

• Connecting with students we normally don't connect with.
• Learn to be more relational with students.
• Getting to know another youth pastor whom we are co-opting this event with.
• Getting to hang out with leaders that normally don't do "these" types of events.
• Pretend to be exciting about staying up till sunrise.

Fun for days....

I suck!

For the past few days I have been slacking on my quiet time. I have been working like a mad man trying to update our new website, organize the Lock-In, develop a ministry profile on myspace, and I have placed my time with God on the back burner...I suck! It's weird how much a person feels (off or different) when they don't have that time. What is even more interesting it the fact that I promised myself to use this time to grow and spend quality time with Him. Yet, it was the first thing to go...I suck! I'm sure that everyone goes through this, but having a mild case of ADHD, I seem to be more susceptible to it. I know "excuses are lame" but, today I'm leaving and having my quite out under some ancient oak tree. God here I come...

Okay...it too cold...Starbucks it is....God here I come...!

The Monster House

When I was a kid, my friends and I would dare each other to go and knock the the door of this house. I never had the guts to and neither did my friends. We would always get as close as the stairs that lead up to the front door and then bolt for our bikes that were nearby. This house is infamously known as the haunted house on Cummings Valley road. Although I can't be sure if it is really haunted or not, I know that it has that evil feel to it, and with fog it makes this place even more creepy.

Pictures of a misty morning

Here are some pictures I took this morning. They are just random pictures of Tehachapi and my neighborhood. It's going to snow tonight. God help me!

Thailand Update

For the past few weeks I have been trying to learn some conversational Thai for my trip in July. It is extremely hard to learn!!! Being a tonal language it contains five tones that with a simple sound can mean five different things. It requires more application within the masculine tones as well as the feminine tones. I have to be careful not to use the feminine. This is going to take some time!

The Tehachapi Coffee (Gossip) House

So in Tehachapi there are a lot of families, well to do ones. They drive Ecalades, Hummers, and Lexus'. Nevertheless, within all the money that some people have, sin still manifests itself in different ways. As Tehachapi tries to employ the image of a safe, clean and a growing city (or should I say town), there still is this need to GOSSIP! As I sit here in this coffee house, I can hear (without straining my ears) all of these mother hens talking about kids they don't like at the high school or the middle school. I can hear about the dislike about certain teachers and boasting of their students in regards to sports. This coffee house has become a beacon for stay at home mom's to come and talk wild smack about people. I want to puke up my breakfast bagel sandwich. Tehachapi has lost it's innocence...

The Lock-In

For ages I have been against lock-In's of any sort. I couldn't believe that people (or should I say youth pastors) would actually lose their minds within such an event. Now, I find myself promoting our very first Lock-In. I am so excited about this event, I had to take my ridlin. I pray that the students will find an environment that is loving, fun, caring, exciting and a place the they could call their own. Okay, so here are the details:

• Ice Skating at Ice Town
• Game works in Ontario
• Xbox & DDR till the cows come home
• Junk food that would make Willy Wonka cry

Please keep us in prayer!!!

The Tehachapi Update

The day is slowly lingering and I am in a state of trying to find something productive to do. I did find this box that had some old pictures and CD's. I can't believe that actually listened to some of them. The temperature has risen to the grand high of 42 degrees! I am now officially looking for a job as a glass cutter...I'm that cold!

Working in Tehachapi

Okay, so I know that I'm supoosed to be on vaction, but a vaction in Tehachapi is quite boring. So, I'm now sitting a little coffee house working on church stuff. The best part is the free WiFi and FREE COFFEE!!! Its still extremely cold -current temp. is 34 degrees! Pictures are on the way.

My Early Years

Today as I was cleaning out my office came across an old box of papers and books. To my surprise there was a notebook of my very first youth ministry position. I had taken notes, wrote down thoughts, and frustrations within this notebook. What is funny, is to see how much I have changed in my thinking and perception of youth ministry. As I was reading "what was I thinking" was going through my head. Wow...so much has changed! I will never forget my humble beginings...wait I'm still in humble beginings.

JH Christmas Party

Last night was our annual Junior High Christmas party. Here are some highlights and lowlights:

Highlights

• We had a good band play
  
• Plenty of food
  
• 6 foot burritos
  
• Eggnog chugging contest
  
• Huge turn-out (I think we had 65 people)
  
• Cool time to hand out with students
  
• Some parents brought hot coco and cider
  
• The White Elephant gift exchange
• Great leader/volunteer support
  
• Most of all...the students had a safe, fun, and memorable time
  

Lowlights

• It seems that every student was suffering from ADD, ADHD, & Turrets.
  
• Leadership miscommunication
  
• Spilled cider
• No one puked during the eggnog chugging contest...sad day
  
• An awkward moment (that's all I'm going to say)
  
• The lack of interest in the band from the students
  
• I didn't get to hand with the students as much as I had wanted to
  

Overall, a great night…I’m glad it’s over!