Lucas on Leadership

For the last few months, I have been examining and re-examining what our midweek and weekend programs look like. I have come the conclusion that I need to do a better job at leading people. I believe that any decent leader would say that about himself/herself, but I am quite serious when I say this about myself. I have found that the leaders that I shepherd need to catch on the vision of why we do middle school ministry. The answer to the that question would certainly be the catalyst that has been missing. Here's a couple quick thoughts from the inside of my head:

1. Leaders need to understand sacrifice. It is one thing to teach a bible study, but to purposely invest time and energy into the lives of students requires some sort of sacrifice. That is not to say that volunteers need to give there entire lives to middle school ministry- that's not what I'm saying. What I do mean is that, we need to have a purpose of why we want to "do life" with middle schooler students. It boils down to this: students see that sacrifices we make and the one's we don't.
2. Leaders need to understand complacency. Because it worked before does not mean it will be a hit the second time around. In today's ADD world, students can take and leave purposeful elements just as the wind blows. I have come to understand that complacency is a disastrous safety blanket that plagues many youth workers. We become "too" comfortable in midweek/weekend programs, and that's when things become stagnate. Students hate stagnated elements. This partially is not their fault (they do live in world where everything and everyone wants things done in a nanosecond), yet programming should not be built upon an ADD mentality. I am reminded that when things get to comfortable, that's a sure sign to shake some things up.
   
3. Leaders need to understand care. Care comes in many forms (remembering a name, making that phone call, remember the student period!) It's amazing how we can think and care for students based upon a schedule "Sunday...it's my day to talk with students..." Care is a sacrifice and should be based upon complacency. Students need adults that pray for them throughout the week, show up at their ballgames, take for some Starbucks, pray for their parents, remember what makes them laugh, remember what makes them cry. A leader knows (cares) for their students. Note that care and knowing a student are two different things. I can know a student, but care signifies shepherding and love. It screams "you are worth my time."
4. Leaders need to understand rest. One reason leaders/youth workers get burnt out is because of the lack of rest. They spend too much time giving and fail to re-charge themselves with the presence of God. We do all of this "youth ministry" stuff, and almost fail to have that special time with Him. we can not lead students down a path we have never been before. How can we tell students to read there bibles when we are ourselves don't? How can we tell our students to have a healthy prayer life, when the only time we talk to God is when we remember to? Finding rest in the Lord is crucial to leading students. Note that students can see a fake and when they do, the chances of them opening up and really allowing you to care for them becomes somewhat impossible.
   

Youth Ministry Turf Wars

My question is this: would you engaged/develop a program to reach students (let's say skaters) if you know that another church in town also has similar ministry? For example, I have been throwing around an idea of outreaching to students at local skate parks. I have leaders willing to take this and run with it. But, I know that another youth ministry in town already does the same thing, and (from what I hear) does a good job. Should I trash the idea, for fear of stepping on someone's toes?

Your thoughts?

Question of the Week

The very problem of teenage obesity is effecting the very nature of how students respond to programs; have you ever had a student no attend an event because there was too much walking or running, and that HALO 3 sounds better? The question of the week is based upon two trends 1) obesity and 2) guys wearing girl pants.

Here's the question: how can the students (guys) of today in all their glory and obesity, wear girl jeans? If today's teens are too fat to do anything, how do they get away with girl pants? I hope this trend ends soon!

for those who practice the quaker method of humor: THIS IS A JOKE QUESTION!!!! Get over it!

Top Five Things Students Struggle with...

This is a question for all you youth workers out there: What are the top five "things" students struggle with on an everyday basis? Your answers could include thoughts from the middle schools, high school, or college world.

MySpace

It seems that Myspace is in the air these days, as too the fact that I have had at least five parents ask me about it. Today was no different, but has put in me a interesting position.

One of my bible study leaders ask me about the legal age requirement for having a Myspace account, which happens to be 14. This bible study leader has a 13 year old son in 8th grade. As a result he's account has (will be) deleted. Tonight at a youth gathering he was upset with the information I tendered to his parents about Myspace, and was almost sobbing (tears were in his eyes) about this. He states that Myspace is the only vehicle of communication with his friends throughout the week. He asked me why I did what I did, and my only response was that I had to be honest and that he needed to respect his parents wisdom in the matter. He understood...but I still feel that he is harboring some resentment.

How would you have handled this situation?

I already tried to advertise Facebook with no luck, and MyPraise is a joke when compared to MySpace.

Students and God

Last night in the midst of controlled chaos, I observed students during our worship experience. I was amazed on how different their responces were. Some sat quietly and whispered words to themselves, while others developed "on-the-spot" hand motions to each song. Regardless there was a responce. Whether some might view it as a negitive or a positive, students respond. They might think that they are trying to "be different" by not engaging, but they are responding. Students (espeically middle school students) never cease to amaze me. It's funny how they mirror the mysteries of life, just as God is sometimes mysterious.

How do your students repsond?

Creating Care Systems

So I have been thinking about this concept of care systems within student ministry. Last week Mike Lovato and I talked about this issue in the context of middle school ministry. The thoughts that I am mulling over is: what is a care system and what does it look like to a middle school student? Mike posed a great question "what would happen if God sent 60 kids to the Refinery tonight?" That question has been keeping me from sleeping for the last week. What does care look like with 60 students? Maybe a better question that I should be asking is "what does a caring adult look like?" Here are some basic thoughts (and I do mean basic):

1) Students needs consistent leaders

Within today's times, students live in world where everything is changing faster than you can change a song on an ipod. Often this rears its ugly face in ministry when leaders are unwilling to commit to love and care for students. Students see when we are there for them, and when we are there for our resume. In a world where the family dynamic of students is divorce, simply being present creates an environment that should love. This creates care.

2) Students need different leaders

I have an intern his name is Chris, and Chris is a rock star. He is an talented guitar player and seems to know what's going down in the music industry. He connects with students who often share the same hobbies and passions as he does. Having different types of leaders with different types of personalities helps create an environment that fosters care by having that "one leader" that some students connect well with. I thank God that we have Chris or a Phil, and a Danielle to help foster care to our students. All of our leaders have different personalities, that means they connect with students that I normally don't connect to and visa versa. To have a successful ministry (I think) we need to surround our students with caring adults that love students, but are willing to allow God to use others as well. It's okay if don't connect with everyone, just as long as you have someone on your team that can.

3) Care is more than just Sunday and Wednesday thing

Students like phones calls, postcards, and smiles when you see them at church. They love when yo remember prayer requests and their birthdays. They will remember those times when you took them to Starbucks or Castle Park for their birthdays. Students need leaders to care for them outside of the program schedule. I believe most of the impact that students receives is from the simplest forms of care; a smile, a hug, a high-five, showing up at their ballgames.

I ask you this: what does care look like for you, and how do keep that care system going? Let me know what your thoughts are...God be with you

Thoughts on Middle School Ministry

This week we kick off the new school year. With free pizza and good promotion this Wednesday should be fun. Although, I can't help but think of a few things that keep me awake at night.

1) Students and their connections with us
One of the most difficult realizations in ministry is that we don't connect with every student in our ministry. I dealt with this fact many years ago. Now I see others dealing with it. What is funny to me is the "if they don't don't connect with me, they don't connect with anyone" mentality. Just because a student doesn't connect with us in the way we think they should doesn't mean that they are a lost cause or can't connect with others; that is a selfish perspective. I know a student in particular, who seems not to connect with his bible study leader. The leader knows this student from another church program. Does this create a default to which a student has to connect to the leader, and would it a terrible thing if they connected with another leader, even though the bible study leader has known them more than the connected leader?

Another issue is that fact that students don't often connect with us in the way we think they should. Middle school students are shrouded in ambiguity. They are never the same, yet we often want them to be predictable. If this is your die-hard belief...run from student ministry! Students are constantly changing, and we should jump for joy that we have leaders that connect with students.

2) Middle School Student Leadership
Some people would see this as a lost cause, but see this a developing tool. Middle school students are very much capable of leadership. Just because they are sometimes selfish, flaky, and squirrelly, does not mean that they are not worth the effort. I have seen some of the most self-sacrificing attributes from middle school students. They are an untapped resource.

3) Leadership motives
What motivates leaders? That question is what has kept me without sleep for months. What do leaders want? How do we address impure motives (ie. selfishness)? To be effective we need to have everyone on the same team. Seems simple enough. But what about that one who wants more, or forgets about the learning process. For me, leadership motivates me to be effective, consistent, and intentional. In order to seek such things I must LEARN!!! I can never stop learning. I can be a youth pastor for 16+ years and still understand nothing. This motivates me to learn and understand more. Nevertheless, learning has no end, and anyone who says different is selling something to you.

I have found through my learning that selfish motives will destroy a ministry or keep it from growing. We must guard ourselves from such deceit.

(Please Note: this blog is in no way a representation of a person(s). Although, the content and circumstance might stem from conversations with a person, it is not about them, only the ideas and concepts strained from those conversations.)

JH & CSM

The Refinery and CSM (Center for Student Missions) where to start...

Sunday Night:

We arrived at CSM Los Angeles sometime around 4pm. We unpacked, students were a little freaked about the living conditions, nevertheless; they were all excited. We met our city guide and headed to dinner which happened to be Thai. Students had fun eating new food and fellowship with each other.

Monday:

we prayer walked through MacArthur park. The park is a haven for drug use and other activities. We then headed to Grandview Retirement Hotel, where we played bingo with some old folks. It was funny to see them (the old folks) pick on each other, not to mention the fact that they love just hanging with us as we listened to their story.

We then moved on to our next work site which was rather interesting. We helped sort through some donations for a lady who ran a missions organization by herself. The place was unreal. Dirty, disarranged, rotting food, the smell...wow, words can not describe it. But, it was awesome to serve along-side of sister Luz. This woman's passion for the LORD is unwavering.

Dinner was rather interesting. We had to gather items for dinner. We all had $1 for each of us. We ate good, things were cheap.

Tuesday:

Today we worked the in LA Mission. Very cool! We did some laundry, made posters and ates some really good food.

Later on, we worked at the Midnight Mission. They were rude, talked with filthy mouths, had not love in their hearts. They kicked out the homeless just as soon as they got their food. It was a really sad to see.

For dinner we ate at Cojutepeque, a Salvadorian restaurant. The food was good, but the portions were small. Not really something to scream about.

Wednesday:

This morning we woke up early, got some Pan Dulce and drove to Pershing square park. Students meet with the homeless there and shared breakfast with them. Students were crying, hearts were moved, and people where loved.

Read my next blog post for my thoughts on the trip.

JH Missions Experience

Tomorrow afternoon I will be taking 10 middle school students into the heart of urban Los Angeles for four days of service. I have been thinking a lot about missions, mission work and general evangelism, and I have honestly come to the conclusion that I know nothing. This is a claim that has been pronounced by my mouth many times, and honestly I don't know anything. After taking many classes on world evangelism and urban studies, I still seem to miss the point what we are called to do. Serving in LA is more than just filling a church requirement or creating a wonderful, growing experience; its about be Christ-like. This thought has infested my brain. What does it mean to be Christ-like? Hopefully I and our middle school students will return on Wednesday with a deeper meaning to this question...changed would be ideal.

What does it mean to be a Christian. I look around and find that people can provide any answer they choose as much as it corresponds to their selfish lifestyle. I look around and see apathy. Even in my own life. How are we to go down to LA, and feed the poor, wash some feet, and "pretend" to know what it means to service Christ by serving others, when only to return unchanged? (Please note: if you think the answer is simple to answer, you have not a clue. Start by reading the book of Matthew.)

Funny Conversation II

This is a conversation I had with a junior higher today:

Jordan- "hey Lucas, did you know that if you eat your boogers, you're eating human skin!"

Me- "what?"

Jordan- "Yeah, basically boogers is dust and dust is made up of human skin...SO we're really eating human skin when we eat our boogers."

Me- "so by eating our boogers we become cannibals?"

Jordan- "What?"

yeah, and this was an 8th grader....too funny!

When leaders don't lead

This week my attention is drawn to my current 7th grade students. It is safe to mention that most of our student leadership team is made up of 8th grade students. So, naturally I'm looking to future to see who will step up to the plate. The exciting thing about this is that I have over 8 students that come to mind. Yet, when asked to consider student leadership they rather do other things such as "sports, the mall, hanging with friends, etc." They have no desire to lead, yet they swell with enormous leadership qualities. Many of them set the social climate on any given Wednesday. So what do you do with a students who exhibit leadership qualities but don't want to lead?

Students

I have found that students are very selfish beings. It seems to get worst as they grow up. Today was the last day to sign-up for our JH Summer Camp. Out of 35 only five have signed up. This is a first for our ministry. It seems that the "fun" factor in events is no longer the hook, while neither is the spiritual element. Here are few excuses I received today:

• "Oh we're not going to Catalina??? I don't want to go."
• "I have sports events that week."
• "It's too expensive."
• "I don't know why I don't want to go."

Such interesting times in which we live in. When I was younger or even last year students couldn't wait to sign-up. Humm....your thoughts?

A Conversation...

Yesterday evening right before our "Wired Game Night" event, I had a parent call. I answered the call thinking it was a parent asking about when the event was over. But to my surprise it was a parent concerned about the nature of the "games" we would be playing, or more specifically the game HALO.

This father was extremely gracious to me and rather brought to my attention that HALO is rated mature. I was unknowingly aware of this, but the father seemed to be concerned about the influence this would have on students. So I told him that I would look into it, and make the proper decision.

After researching why HALO is rated "mature" I found that it is so because of bad language and some blood.

What validates my decision for using HALO in the youth ministry is this:

1. The bad language is only in the Legendary setting and or campaign setting. Our students use the split-screen mode.
2. The blood factor is rather pathetic, in which would see more blood from a simple paper cut than on HALO.
3. Students like and it's a fun way to connect students who wouldn't usually hang out together.
4. It's easy to set up.

With this said, 5 years ago after having a conversation like this, I would have been angry and discouraged. But I look at like this:

1. I wish more parent's would be as forth coming as this father was.
2. This parent is concerned about me as much as he is concerned about his student.
3. Parent's can tender some form of encouragement.

More thoughts on Leadership

So, today I witnessed something that proved to be something that I need to address. Without going into specifics, I realized something about leadership. Here are few thoughts:

• Leadership is having the "guts" to have "that conversation" with "that someone" even though someone will awake away with their "ego" bruised.


• Leadership is having the "guts" to understand both sides of the coin and still making that decision that will make some people "unhappy."


• Leadership is understanding that regardless of age, schooling and personality, one must yield to those who God has placed in a higher position.


• Leadership is "understanding" your position and excelling at that. Not overstepping your bounds because you "think" you have all the answers.


• Leadership is purging those selfish desires, and making good choices that help students and ultimately glorify God.


• Leadership is knowing and understanding those who are in a position of higher authority and "respecting" that.

Tell me what you think....

Reflections on JH Discipleship

The weekend is finally over and I must say that it was downright an awesome experience. I am still processing much of what was said and done this weekend. I guess the ultimate purpose of this weekend was to take a small groups of JH students to an environment that would be free of distractions and "try" to connect with God in many different ways. The important thing that I walked away was this notion of "do we really know our students?" A simple question, right? Do we know their hurts, their dreams, their home life? Do we know what makes them laugh or cry? This what I observed by watching my leaders this weekend. I also observed how lazy some students can be. I know that its still JH, but when do we start (or should I say they start) to (teach/learn) servanthood? This is my new study, more to come this later.

Here are some highlights and lowlights....

Highlights

• Worship and camping at the beach...can't beat that!


• Watching the students being stretched beyond their comfort zones.


• The foot washing by the light of tiki-torches that lined the beach at night.


• Watching the red tide light show at night.


• Body boarding at San Clemente


• Watching my buddy Mike present a fine job of what it means to be a disciple of Christ.

Lowlights

• It was overcast the whole weekend.


• The drunkards in the camp next ot us.


• Students killing squirrels.


• Under packing cooking gear.


• Not knowing your camping gear.


• No hot showers.


• Sand in places that it should never be.

I leave you with this; junior high students are very much capable of way more than we can imagine. Discipleship is a process that is different for everyone, and must be taken seriously. Yet, it is very much corporate in the sense in what it accomplishes. More to come on that.

Disicpleship Weekend Retreat

I'm taking a Small group of students to San Onofre for a discipleship retreat this weekend. It should be fun. Here are some things that they will experience:

• Fasting


• Experience a time of prolonged silence


• Foot washing


• Journaling


• Sharing


• Surfing


• Body boarding


• Learning what it means to be a disciple

I think this trip will be exciting and different at the same time. My friend is the speaker for the weekend, I'm excited to see him chat about his passion. More to come!

B.Y.O.F. Weekend Review

Wow, BYOF is finally over and exhaustion has finally set in. The weekend was hugely successful, not to the fact that students had a blast, but that I got to connect with students I didn't know very well, while meeting some new ones. Our visitors for the weekend had a blast and can't wait till Wednesday for more. I think two elements really played a part in this weekend being so successful: intentional and relational. Every leader (regardless whether or not they were tried or not) loved on the kids, and really tried to break through those superficial barriers. Breaking those barriers are not the easiest things to do, but the impact one makes in the lives our their students is incredible. Enough reflection, here are some highlights and lowlights:

Highlights

• Laser Tag- It was awesome!!! This was the fav for most students.
• HALO for days- Guy's played HALO and watched Thundercats cartoons.
• CastlePark- Cheap Thrills and a neat time to hang with students. No one Puked.
• BBQ- good food, XBox 360, basketball, volleyball Sardines at night and fire...good times.
• Hanging with students and meeting new ones.
• Seeing students step up the leadership table...priceless.

Lowlights

• General tiredness
• Students with attitudes
• Snoring
• A dare that involved the licking of armpits (after an hour of DDR) for a $10 movie card
• A 6 ft. turd that plugged a toilet. Yes, I had clean that crap up (pun intended)
• Resources that were requested, not provided (2nd projector)
• Students and cliques
• Grease fires...they suck!

Overall, it was an awesome time. I am glad I went ahead and did the event. I need a nap...

B.Y.O.F Weekend Adventure

So after careful prayer and a strategic message, BYOF is still a go! The fun starts tomorrow at 5:30pm and ends on Sunday morning. We have about 20 students going, most are bringing friends. Please note that I mentioned the word "most." Here's my issue; In order to sign-up to go, a student needed to bring an "un-churched" friend. This later afternoon I received a call from a parent stating that her son's friends just bailed on him, can he still go? I thought rather quickly and stated "yes." It only seemed fair. He made the contact, he was intentional, and these things happen. So, our ratio is not completely 50/50, but its pretty darn close. I am so proud of my students!!!

Reflections on Numbers

I often wonder why attendance numbers are a like a roller-coaster ride. There are many factors that can influence this issue. One issue that plagues our ministry is that many of our students come from single parents. We have a rather high amount of students who come broken homes. From this, I am able to deduce that most of our missing students on Wednesday and Sunday are with the "other" parent for weekend. It's not a bad thing, but it is something we have to keep in mind before we throw in the towel, and need to figure out a way to keep them encouraged and loved on, not to mention plugged. What about their "other" parent? Anyone have a thought on this? Hit to Lovato...